sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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