I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
