It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
