shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
