Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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