very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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