i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
