Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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