if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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