see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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