Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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