I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize