I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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