i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
