I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
