You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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