Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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