I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
