I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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