Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
