he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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