So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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