i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
