I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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