watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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