I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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