you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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