I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
