You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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