I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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