she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
