Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
