why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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