Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
