just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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