you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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