Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize