I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
