I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
