Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
