Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
