My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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