they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
