Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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