my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I just put wine in my tea
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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