I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
