i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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