I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
