The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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