Girls should come with a carfax report
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
