Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
