My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is wine microwaveable?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
