I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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