This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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