I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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