Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
