and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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