the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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