I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
