Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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