I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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