Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
