i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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