Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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