At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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