Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Less talking, more tequila
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
