Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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