Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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